Second Best
by LilyFlare
Summary: Axel's sick of playing Roxas's best friend. It's time the short blonde learned how his friend really feels about him. Question is, how will Roxas react? Better yet, how will Roxas's boyfriend, Zexion react? Roxion AkuRoku AU Written: August '08 - Sep. '08
1. This could be a problem

A/N: This fic was actually inspired by the drawing "oh that Axel" done by evil-monkey-chu on DA. You can see my colored version of this pic on my DA site.

* * *

The sun shone down brightly as the slightly shorter blue haired boy walked hand in hand with his blonde boyfriend down the street. Roxas stopped suddenly as an arm wrapped around his shoulders and a finger hooked under one of his belt loops, "Hey Roxie. Miss me?"

Zexion clenched his teeth and glared at the tall redhead draped over his boyfriend. He tightened his grip on Roxas's hand, "Fuck off Carrot Top," he growled.

Axel leaned in closer to Roxas, "Ooh, wow. You need to tell me when your girl's on the rag Roxie." Roxas chuckled as Zexion narrowed his eyes.  
"Alright you two. Play nice," Roxas laughed.

"Are you kidding me?! He's blatantly trying to steal you from me, and you always just laugh about it!"

"Ok, ok. Come on Axel, let go. You know it makes Zexy jealous." Axel reluctantly released his hold and Roxas turned to address his boyfriend, "Come on, Zex, you know he's just messin' with you. He's not gay."

"Tsh," Zexion sneered, "Yeah, well, neither were you 'til I kissed you. Remember? And now he's pissed that I actually had the balls to ask you out and he's trying to fuckin' take you away!"

Roxas rolled his eyes, "You are so paranoid."

Axel leaned back in, "How do you know he's not right?"

Roxas didn't even flinch, instead he laughed, "Please. We've been friends forever, I think I'd notice if you had a crush on me."

Axel didn't respond and Zexion just continued to glare at him, "Ok, that's enough. Zexion, if you don't knock it off, I'm gonna go hang out with Axel instead."

Axel shot Zexion a taunting smirk, "Fine," the blue haired boy spit out through gritted teeth, "But he better keep his fuckin' hands to himself."

Roxas looked at Axel for his reply. "Fine," the redhead sighed, running a hand through his hair.

The three resumed their walk down the sidewalk, "So, where we going anyway?" Axel asked.

"We were going to a movie, before you showed you, you bastard," Zexion hissed.

"Hey, what did I just say?" Roxas chastised Zexion. The shortest boy crossed his arms and turned away from the other two to pout, "We were going to see a movie, Axel. Did you wanna come?"

"Sure thing," he flopped all over Roxas again, "I've always wanted to spend some time with you in the dark." he smirked and Roxas chuckled but shrugged him off, "Come on Axel, you too. No touching. You promised Zexy."

Axel's smile twisted into a glare aimed at Zexion, but he quickly turned his attention to the sky as he threw his hands behind his head, "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

They walked the rest of the way in complete silence. Roxas sighed. He really wished his boyfriend and best friend would get along better. At all, for that matter.

"Hey, I'll get the tickets, could you grab the popcorn and drinks Zexy?" Roxas asked.

"Uh, sure," he turned to get the snacks, but stopped and grabbed Axel by the arm, dragging him along.

"What the Hell?" the redhead demanded.

"Like I was gonna leave you alone with him for a second." the blue haired boy stared ahead at the other people in line.

Axel smirked, "You know, if you didn't think Roxie would fall me, then my hitting on him probably wouldn't bug you."

Zexion whirled around, "There is no way Roxas would ever date you in a million years. You're a pompous, rude jackass! That's why he keeps telling himself that you're not really hitting on him, 'cause the thought would probably make him puke his guts out." Zexion shot him a malicious smirk.

"Psh, I could have Roxas in a second, and you wouldn't know what happened."

"Fuck you. You stay away from him or I'll fuckin' kick your ass."

Axel chuckled and eyed the other boy, "You think you can take me smurf? Please, what are you gonna do? Bite my ankle?"

Zexion was just about to snap when Roxas walked up, "Got the tickets." He held them up.

Zexion bit his tongue and whipped back around to face towards the concession stand. Roxas looked from Zexion to Axel and shook his head.

They finally made it into the theater. After some wandering around, they decided on three seats near the middle of the room. Zexion had wanted to sit between Axel and Roxas, but Roxas sat down first and Axel shoved his way into the seat next to him. Zexion huffed and sat on Roxas's right. Roxas held the popcorn tub in his lap so everyone could reach it. After four previews, the movie started.

The three of them sat quietly through the half first of the movie, concentrating on the plot. They had finished off the popcorn and Roxas had set the bucket on the floor. Zexion glanced over at Roxas and placed his hand on the blonde's. Roxas startled a little, breaking his gaze from the screen to look over at Zexion, but he smiled and returned his focus to the movie. Axel watched this little exchange and couldn't stand it. He pondered the consequences, but finally decided it was worth it. He placed his hand on Roxas's left. Roxas startled again, more so this time. He turned a confused look to Axel, then began to laugh it off. He went to pull his hand back, but Axel tightened his grip. Roxas was suddenly very concerned with the serious look in Axel's eyes, "What are you doing?" he whispered.

Zexion turned to see what was going on. He felt something in his brain snap, "Get your fuckin' hand off him!" he whispered harshly.

"Axel, knock it off. Give me my hand back."

Axel continued to look at Roxas with a straight face, "You should be mine."

Roxas laughed nervously, "Um, that's funny and all, but I'm trying to watch a movie."

Before any of the boys knew what was happening, Axel had his hand behind Roxas's head and his lips smashed against the blonde's. Roxas struggled against the stronger boy and Zexion lost it, "What the Hell!!!" the shortest one screamed, standing from his seat.

People in the theater started yelling at them to shut up and sit down. Zexion started to argue with them just as Roxas finally broke free from his friend. He jumped up out of his seat and ran out of the theater. Zexion shot a menacing glare at Axel before chasing after his boyfriend. Axel slumped back in his seat and sighed heavily. His eyes darted around the theater as he sat stewing in anger and fear.


	2. Jealousy is an ugly beast

Axel sighed and finally pulled himself up out of the theater seat . He made his way to the aisle and headed for the exit. As he walked by a row of seats, he heard someone whisper something about a 'stupid fag,' but ignored it and stepped outside. The sun was still shining brightly as he left the dark building. He squinted into the blinding light and raised a hand to his forehead to shield his eyes as he scanned the parking lot for his friend.

"He was just fucking around Zexy," Roxas stated.

"No, but that's what he wants to be doing," Zexion remarked sarcastically.

Roxas shot him a glare. He turned to glance back at the theater and caught sight of Axel. He rushed over to him, shoving him hard in the chest, "That wasn't funny asshole!"

"Good. It wasn't supposed to be," Axel said dryly.

Roxas's eyes widened for a split second, but quickly turned into a threatening glare, "Knock it off already! I said it's not funny! God! Look how upset you've got Zexion!"

"What about you?" Axel asked.

Roxas's face contorted into confusion, "What? What are you talking about?"

"Are you upset?"

"Of course I'm upset! Look at me!"

Axel pursed his lips and nodded slowly, his eyes looking away, "Ok."

"Ok?! That's all you're gonna say?! What about, oh, I dunno, 'I'm sorry I acted like an ass in there Roxas. I'm sorry I took my fooling around too far. I'm sorry I'm a jerk who thinks a laugh is worth ruining a good time over!' You know! Something like that." Roxas crossed his arms and waited for a reply.

Axel stared at him, half wanting to punch him, half wanting to scoop him up and run off with him, "I'm sorry my feelings are so shocking to you."

Roxas looked at him in disgust, "You jackass! You're fucking with me and you know it!"

Axel folded his arms and looked away angrily, "I'm not fucking around, dammit. Ok, look. You know I constantly hang all over you to piss off Zexion, but why? What reason would I have for pissing off your boyfriend when I know it's gonna piss you off too?" Roxas could feel his cheeks getting hotter as he stared furiously at his friend. "I like you Roxas. It's just like Zexion said. I'm fuckin' pissed as Hell because I've loved you since the day I met you, but I didn't have the balls, that that fuckin' shrimp over there did, to ask you out. So now I'm second best, and it drives me mad!"

Roxas stood frozen in utter shock. He glanced over at his boyfriend for support, only to find him with an 'I told you so' look plastered all over his face. He turned back to Axel, searching for something to say, but before he could, Axel started walking away, "Wait!"

"Whatever, I'm going home. You guys do what you gotta do. I've said my piece." Roxas looked on helplessly as his best friend stalked off down the road. The blonde wasn't one for dramatics, but he couldn't think of anything else to do but fall to his knees and stare off into oblivion.

Zexion huffed angrily, then drew in a calming sigh and walked over to his boyfriend, "Roxas, get up. You look ridiculous."

Roxas didn't move.

Zexion rolled his eyes and hoisted Roxas up by his arm. "Come on, let's go home."

Roxas's eyes never left the pavement as the two boys wandered back home.

* * *

Zexion and Roxas had made it back to the blonde's house. They sat on his porch steps in awkward silence as the sun sank below the horizon.

"I'd say 'I told you so,' but I think you knew all along," Zexion remarked.

Roxas didn't respond right away and for a moment Zexion didn't think he would, "I... I can't believe it. He's my best friend. I mean, I knew he was jealous of you, but I didn't think he was jealous like that."

"Tsh. You honestly had no clue? What with him always hanging on you and using cheesy lines on you."

"Yeah, but I thought he was just goofing around. Ya know. Like friends do."

Zexion rolled his eyes, "Well, I guess I'm glad he finally told you. Now I don't have to worry about him always hitting on you."

"You think he'll stop?" Roxas looked up at his boyfriend.

"Probably not, but he can't very well flirt with you if you're not around."

Roxas sat up in surprise, "What? What's that suppose to mean?"

Zexion sneered, "Well, you clearly can't be friends with him anymore. Not now that you know how he feels about you. It'd be wrong."

Roxas was starting to look panicked, "Why not? He's my best friend. He's always been my best friend."

"Roxas... Think about it. Now that he knows you know how he feels, he'll just try to win you over more. You gotta avoid him. If you keep hanging out with him, he'll take it as a sign that he has a chance."

"But! But he's my friend. Just because he feels that way about me, doesn't mean I'm gonna stop being his friend. That's stupid."

Zexion scowled, "Roxas," he looked away, "I don't want you hanging out with him anymore. I'm telling you, he's only going to be more persistent now, and I don't want to lose you."

Roxas stood and brushed off his pants, "Zexion, that's low. I can understand you being a little jealous, but you outright don't trust me to be faithful to you. I said he's my friend and that's all he is. I'll make that clear to him too. But if you can't trust me to just be friends with someone, things aren't going to work out between you and me."

Zexion stared at Roxas, his mouth hanging open in shock. Eventually he snapped his head around to scowl at the ground, "Fine. Whatever. Go be friends with that jerk. But when he keeps acting lewd towards you, don't expect to come crawling to me for help."

"I won't," Roxas stated bluntly.

Zexion huffed and stood up, "It's late and I'm tired. I'm going home." He turned his head slightly to steal a glance at Roxas from the corner of his eye. The blonde was staring stubbornly out into the distance. He didn't mean to tell Roxas what to do, he was just afraid of losing him. He'd never loved anyone as much as him. He let out a small sigh and made his way down the sidewalk as Roxas turned to go inside. Once the front door was closed, Zexion paused and looked back at the house behind him. He hated not saying goodnight. He hated seeing Roxas upset. And he hated it even more that he was the one that had upset him. He didn't want to fight with Roxas. Just fight for him. And he would too if Axel kept it up. But for now, all he could do was trust Roxas and try not to be so jealous. The blue haired boy sighed one more time as he stared down the dark road stretched out before him. "I love you Roxas," he whispered as he jammed his hands into his pockets and continued his walk home in silence.


	3. Some mistakes are unavoidable

"Hello?"

"Zexion?"

"Oh hey Rox. What's up?"

"Look, Zexy. I'm just letting you know, so you don't get all jealous and suspicious, that I'm headed over to Axel's right now. I'm gonna straighten this whole thing out."

"What?!" the protest escaped the older boys lips before he could think to stop it.

"Listen. He's my friend, and nothing more, and I feel it'd be wrong to turn him down over the phone. He deserves a face to face answer."

Zexion was silent for a moment, "This isn't going to end well…"

The blonde haired boy sighed, "Zexion. Don't you trust me at all?"

"Of course I do! I just don't trust him," he scoffed.

"It'll be fine. I promise. I'll just tell him that you're the only one for me and that I hope he and I can still be friends."

"Do you find him attractive?"

It was Roxas's turn to pause, "I'm not gonna lie to you. Yeah, I do. But you know it takes more than just looks to win me over."

"But he's your best friend. You already like hanging out with him. Tch, I wish he'd never said anything. Now he's got you curious."

"No he doesn't! Would you listen to me?! Sure I like to hang out with him and sure he's good looking, but I don't want to date him! I'm telling you the truth!"

Zexion contemplated Roxas's outburst, "Roxas?"

Roxas sighed, "Yeah?"

"I love you."

Roxas paused for a moment, shaking his head, "I love you too Zexion and I'm not leaving you, I swear."

"Just, keep your guard up while you're over there ok? I know, he's your friend and all, but just be cautious, ok?"

"Alright, if it'll make you feel better. I'll be sure he doesn't try anything."

"I mean it Roxas, I love you."

"I know, and I love you too. Hey, uh, I gotta go. I told him I'd be over there by now."

"Kay. I'll talk to you later?"

"Sure."

"Bye Roxy."

"Bye Zex."

Zexion hung up the receiver and slumped back on the couch in his living room. He had a bad feeling about this.

Axel heard a knocking at his front door and scurried out of his seat to answer it, "Roxas! Hey!"

Roxas stood apprehensively in the doorway, trying his best to make eye contact, "Hey Axel."

"Come in!" Axel stepped aside, granting Roxas access.

The blonde took a deep breath and stepped inside. He'd done this millions of times before, but never had the act weighed so heavily on his heart. He was beyond nervous.

"Hey, come sit over here with me." Axel plopped down on the large sofa and patted at the spot next to him.

"Um, Axel. We really need to talk about this."

"Sure, I know. Just come sit down, and we can talk." The redhead smiled at the other boy.

Roxas let out a sigh and made his way over to the couch. He hesitantly sat down next to his best friend. "Axel." He decided to get right to the point, "We're just friends. That's it."

Axel seemed as though he hadn't even heard his friend, as he continued to smile on happily, "I know we are. Now."

"No, Axel. Not just now. Always," Roxas said firmly.

"Look, I know you're set on being true to your boyfriend, and I admire that, but I've been thinking. Just let me have one chance. A chance to change your mind."

Roxas closed his eyes and shook his head, "No Axel. Things'll only end badly. I'm only making one deal here. We stay friends or we don't. That's it."

Axel's smile finally faded, "But just one chance is all I want. That's not too much to ask, right?"

"I'm sorry Axel, but it's way too much. I'm in love with Zexion and I'm not gonna loose everything I have with him just to play your little game."

Axel pouted, "But I loved you first, Roxas."

Roxas looked away, "That may be so, but you never said anything until it was too late. And I'm not gonna pay for your missed opportunity."

Axel sat silent for a minute, "Then, how about one kiss?"

"No." the blonde stated bluntly.

"Just one. I… I know I screwed up and waited too long to tell you, but I just want to know what it feels like to kiss the one I love, even if it's just once."

Roxas frowned. He'd never heard his friend sound so sad before. But he couldn't betray Zexion either, "I can't Axel. I wouldn't be able to face Zexy."

"But, it'll just be this one time. I swear to you. And neither of us will ever have to tell him. Ever. We'll be the only two who'll ever know it happened."

Roxas stared at the floor as he thought, "I can't. I'd feel too guilty." He glanced over at his best friend and swore he could see his heart breaking.

The two boys sat in silence as a thick air of uncertainty loomed over them.

"Yeah, you're right. I know you are." Axel stood from the couch, "I should have said something a long time ago. It's my mistake, not yours. I'm sorry I've caused so much trouble. I just-"

"Ok." the redhead was cut short.

Axel perked at eyebrow in question, "Ok? Ok what?"

"One kiss. But that's it. And you never ever speak of it to Zexion." Roxas continued to focus on the floor.

Axel was now dumbstruck, unable to form words, but eventually managed, "You… you don't have to Roxy. I don't want you to feel guilty or anything."

"I've always wondered…" he trailed off.

Axel's eyes widened in realization, "You mean?"

"I'm not in love with you Axel, but I'd have to be blind not to notice your advances, and it's always made me wonder what it would be like if I was with you instead. I'd never leave Zexion of course, but one kiss, just to satisfy both of our curiosities, it can't be that bad. Right?"

Axel was doing his best to contain his exhilaration, "Right. It's just to finally get that naggy 'what if' out of our heads."

Roxas nodded.

Axel sat back down, a little closer this time, "So… um… do you wanna start or do we both jus-"

Axel's words were once again cut short as Roxas smashed their lips together. The redhead jumped slightly, but soon melted into the warm, soft lips pressed against his own. The lips he'd wanted to kiss all his life. He let his eyes slip shut as a wave of ecstasy washed over him. He was content with just lip to lip kissing at first, but eventually needed more. He let his tongue slide gently between the other boy's lips. Roxas seemed to pause hesitantly, but finally opened his mouth just enough to allow Axel access. The redhead dove at the invitation, quickly slipping his tongue inside the blonde's mouth. It was warm, wet and all at the same time tasted like nothing and everything he'd ever imagined. Roxas was trying desperately not to get too carried away, but failed to hold back a slight moan. Axel felt a chill run up his spine as the other boy's sound escaped into his mouth. He instinctually ran his hand up the nape of Roxas's neck. Again Roxas moaned in approval. Seeing that his friend was enjoying this as much as him, Axel decided to see just how far he could get. He let his free hand slip under Roxas's shirt and began to caress his chest. Roxas suddenly realized what was going on, and pulled away quickly, yanking Axel's hand out from under his shirt.

"Sorry!" Axel panicked.

"I um… I'd better get going," Roxas muttered, rising from his seat.

"Wait!" Axel grabbed Roxas by the wrist, "Did… did you like it?"

Roxas didn't turn to face his friend, but blushed furiously. He opened his mouth to speak, paused, then finally, "I need to think about it."

Axel stared at him for a moment, not sure how to interpret that response. Finally he released his grip and let his hand slid from Roxas's wrist, "Ok."

Roxas stayed standing, looking like he was about to say something else, but changed his mind and quickly left out the front door.

Axel remained sitting for several minutes after, wondering just what was to become of their friendship now.


	4. And then there was one

"You're…you're joking right?" Zexion stared in complete shock at his boyfriend.

"I'm sorry! I just… I just needed to know…"

"Know what?! What it feels like to cheat on someone who loves you with all their heart?!"

Roxas flinched, "It wasn't cheating! It was just a kiss! I'm sorry Zexy! I love you!"

Zexion couldn't decide if he should slug Roxas or burst into tears. Finally he opted for neither and turned to leave.

"Wait!" Roxas hurried after him.

The blue haired boy quickly snapped back around to face his boyfriend, "No! I will not wait! I will not stand around while you try to figure out if you love me more than your precious Axel! I won't do it! We're done Roxas! I'm going to bed, so please go home. Now." Zexion fought back tears with all his might as he tried to maintain his composure.

Roxas panicked as sadness began to stream down his face, "No! I don't want this! I don't want Axel! I just want you! I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said anything!"

"No Roxas. You shouldn't have kissed him. The fact that you told me only means I won't have to hate you for lying about it too. Now please. Just go home." Zexion moved to the front door and held it open, not making eye contact with the blonde.

Roxas felt like his world was crashing down on him. He should have had more self control. He should have stood strong against Axel. He shouldn't have given in. And now Zexy… his Zexy… wanted him gone… he… uh… the world was spinning… why… Darkness.

Roxas slowly opened his eyes, and squinted as the bright light filtered in through his eyelashes. His head was pounding and was lying down somewhere. He shifted slightly and grunted as his head bombarded him with pain.

"Roxas?"

Roxas turned his head towards the direction of the familiar voice.

"You awake now?"

The blonde's vision slowly came back into focus and he realized it was Zexion speaking to him. He was sitting in a chair next to the bed Roxas was laid out on. "Mmm… kind of…" he managed.

"Roxy… I'm sorry," Zexion's voiced drifted off and his head hung low.

"What happened?" Roxas asked, attempting to sit up.

"You just passed out. I was telling you to… to leave and I guess you got too stressed and 'boom,' you hit the floor."

Suddenly everything came flooding back and Roxas became panicked once again, "Zexy. I'm sorry! Please! Please don't leave me!"

Zexion stood from his chair and placed his hands on the other boy's shoulders, "Roxas, Roxas, calm down. You'll work yourself up again," he sat down on the bed next to Roxas, "Look… I'm sorry I yelled at you alright, but… but you've broken my heart. You promised me that you would be cautious and then you come over here and tell me that you kissed him. And not that he jumped you, but that you told him it was ok. That hurt me so much."

Roxas took a few calming breaths and stared down at his lap, "I'm sorry Zex… I let my curiosity get the best of me. I… well I don't really have a good excuse, but I really am sorry."

The two boys sat in silence for the next few minutes. Finally Zexion looked up at his boyfriend, something that looked like pain dancing in his eyes, "I can't Roxas."

Roxas snapped his head up to meet Zexion's gaze, "Wha?" he could feel dread washing over him yet again.

"I love you Roxas, more than anything, but I can't stay with you knowing you might have feelings for someone else. I guess I'm just selfish, but I don't want to share you." his bottom lip began to tremble and his eyes shone with wetness.

"Please…" Roxas begged, "Please no… I don't love him. I don't."

"Even if you don't, you were tempted enough to break your promise to me, and that hurts just as much as if you had run off with him. I wish… I wish you had never kissed him Roxy, but I wish even more that you had never wanted to in the first place. Knowing that you wanted to kiss someone other than me… I can't… I'm sorry."

The blonde laid his hand on top of the other boy's, "I just want to pretend none of this ever happened."

"I know." Zexion slipped his hand out from under Roxas's and stood from the bed, "I want that too, but wanting won't make it disappear. What's done is done and now we have to move on. I'm sorry Roxas. I'll always love you, but I can't be with you anymore." He turned and walked quietly out of the room, leaving Roxas alone.

Roxas sat in shock for a moment, before pulling his knees to his chest and burying his face into them. He bawled for nearly an hour. Once he had gotten all of his sadness out, he found a new feeling had emerged: anger. Pure, unadulterated anger. He stormed down the stairs and straight out the front door. His destination was a few blocks away, but his mind was so clouded with hatred, that he didn't even notice the trip.

Axel jumped as a sudden pounding reverberated from his front door, "Hold on! Hold on! I'm coming!" He turned the tv off and pulled himself off the couch. "Geez, don't break my door dow- Roxas! Hey-oof!" Axel doubled over in pain, clutching at his stomach where he had just been sucker punched. "What the Hell?!"

"You son of a bitch! You! This is all your fault!" he took at swing at Axel's face, but the redhead barely managed to dodge it.

"Woah! Woah! What's going on?! What'd I do?!" Axel backed up defensively, his hands raised in the air.

"You made him leave! I hate you! You made him leave me!" Roxas could feel the hot tears starting to run down his face, but he was too pissed to care.

Axel's face suddenly became very concerned, "Oh, Roxy. You didn't."

"Didn't what?! Tell Zexy?! Of course I did! He's my boyfriend! I couldn't just lie to him!" Roxas forced his way into the older male's house.

"Roxas, calm down."

"NO! I will not! I told him because I felt so guilty about kissing you, and he left me! He fucking left me!" Roxas was now full on sobbing, but he couldn't stop.

"Roxy… I'm sorry…" Axel looked on helplessly.

"I love him! And he loves me too! But… but he said he can't be with me knowing I think about you sometimes!"

Axel winced at that. Really it wasn't his fault that Roxas thought about him, but somehow it felt like it was. Like maybe if he hadn't flirted with his friend so much, then the thought would have never crossed Roxas's mind, "I don't know what you want me to say…" he admitted.

"Nothing! I don't wanna hear another God damned word out of your mouth! I just wanna beat you senseless!"

Axel stepped back cautiously, "Roxy, hold on. I, I know you're upset about the kiss, but think! You were the one who said it was ok, and you were the one who ran off and told Zexion!"

Roxas heard the older male's words, and knew they were true, but he didn't want to believe them. This wasn't his fault, it was all Axel's! If he could prove that, then maybe Zexy would take him back, "I don't care! If you! If you hadn't tempted me! If you had just stayed out of my life, then none of this would have happened!"

Axel's face suddenly went blank. Cold. He stared down his best friend with an eerie calmness, and the shorter boy shifted uncomfortably. "So that's how it is. You wish you'd never even met me. Even though I've known you years longer than Zexion, you wish that I was out of the picture. Well fine. Go then Roxas, get the Hell out of my life. I'll be sure not to mess up your perfect little world anymore."

Before Roxas knew what was happening, Axel had shoved him out onto the porch and slammed the front door in his face. He heard the deadbolt lock and the lamp above him clicked off. Roxas was alone. He stood, lost in his confusion and frustration and sadness out there on the darkened porch. His boyfriend had left him and now he had just lost his best friend. To top it all off, Roxas was all cried out. He wanted to cry so badly, but he just couldn't find the tears. Instead he spent several minutes staring at the wooden door that separated him from his best friend. He wanted to run to Zexy and tell him what a jerk Axel was. He wanted to run to Axel and ask him how to win Zexy back. But all he could do was stare. Eventually, he pulled himself together enough to wander back home. He closed the front door behind him and climbed the stairs to the second floor. He didn't even bother to remove his shoes, let alone his clothes, as he flopped into bed. Maybe he'd wake up tomorrow and all of this will have been a bad dream. He prayed with all his might for that to be true as he drifted off to sleep.


	5. Tell the Truth

Roxas was lying awake in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. For the first few seconds of waking, he had felt refreshed and happy. However, once the events of the night before had come flooding back to him, he had felt an overwhelming sadness settle in his chest. He wanted to go talk to Zexion. He wanted to try to fix things. But he knew Zexion and he knew that the other boy always needed time to think things through. Once he'd had adequate time to mull things over, then Roxas could go see him again. The next part of his problem was Axel. He really had been angry with Axel, but the more he thought about it, the harder it became to stay mad at him. His first stop in resolving all of this would have to be the redhead. Sure Axel liked to pretend as though he were tough and aloft, but it was all an act. Roxas knew if he went over there to talk, Axel would play like he was sore, but would of course let him in. As to what Roxas was actually going to say to him, he wasn't sure. But deciding that he'd figure it out on the way, he hopped out of bed and headed over to his best friend's house.

Axel awoke to the sound of his doorbell. There were only two reasons anyone ever rang his doorbell: they were someone he didn't know or he wasn't responding to the knocks of his friend. Guessing it was the latter; he crawled out of bed and made his way downstairs, not bothering to get dressed. He opened the front door to find Roxas standing on his porch; wearing the same clothes he had been the night before, "Roxas? Crap, did you ever go home? You didn't sleep on my porch did you?"

Roxas looked at his older friend like he was some kind of idiot, "What? Of course I went home."

"But you're wearing the same clothes."

"Oh," Roxas hadn't even realized he hadn't bothered to shower, "I was in a hurry."

Axel smirked playfully, "You were in a hurry to see me?"

Roxas rolled his eyes, "You know why I'm here."

Axel sighed and let the smirk disappear, "I know. That really hurt me Roxy. What you said last night."

Roxas looked away, "I know it did. That's why I said it. I was angry. But... but I'm sorry today. I didn't mean it."

Axel tried to stay stoic, but it wasn't working, "Aw, Roxy. It's ok. I forgive you." Giving up his stern act completely, he stepped forward, capturing Roxas in a bear hug.

Roxas shoved the redhead off him, "Axel, come on! Geez, at least put some pants on before you go throwing yourself at people."

Axel chuckled. He hadn't even noticed he was standing in his doorway in nothing but his boxers. He smirked, "But the outcome is much better when I throw myself at people half naked."

Roxas pushed his friend into the house and followed in after him, "Would you just get inside so we can talk already?"

The two boys made their way over to Axel's couch. Roxas sat down hesitantly, remembering that said couch was where all of this drama had spawned.

"So, have you been to talk to Zexion?" Axel asked quietly, trying his best to be a good friend.

"No, he likes to analyze things. I figured I'd give him some time to think, and who knows; maybe he'll fix this whole mess without me ever having to do anything."

Axel chuckled half-heartedly, "So, you really wanna get back with him, huh?"

Roxas frowned, "Axel..."

"I know, I know. But you can't blame a guy for hoping, right?"

Roxas looked away, "Why?" he paused and Axel tossed him a questioning look, "Why do you like me anyway?" The blonde could feel his cheeks tint ever so slightly.

Axel's expression softened and a genuine smile crept across his face, "Because, you're my best friend. I love being with you. Every time I see you my heart jumps. It's like, 'Hey! Roxy's here! Anything that was bugging me is gonna be ok now!'"

Roxas smiled meekly, "But, that doesn't mean you love me. I mean, I get that same way when I see you too."

Axel's eyes widened at Roxas's admission, "Uh, well, ok, but I think you're hot too. I just want to kiss you so much all the time."

Roxas blushed, "Well, I think you're hot too, but that doesn't mean I'm in love with you." Roxas looked away, knowing full well the dangerous territory he was treading on.

Axel was taken aback once again, "You think I'm hot?"

Roxas didn't look back, "Yeah. But, thinking someone's hot doesn't mean you love them."

"True, but you also said your heart does back flips every time you see me."

"I never said that," Roxas stated matter-of-factly.

"Uh huh, you said you get all happy and giddy when you see me," Axel leaned in a little closer, a sly smirk forming on his lips.

"I said I get happy when I see you. So what? Friends get happy when they see each other." the smaller boy crossed his arms over his chest, still not wanting to make eye contact with his friend.

Axel leaned up against Roxas, putting his lips by the other boy's ear, "Roxy," he whispered, "You love me, don't you?"

Roxas pulled away, trying to conceal his shiver as a startle, "I do not. I mean, as a friend I do, but that's all. I love Zexion. Period."

Axel sat back again, a thoughtful expression on his face, "Zexion's a good guy and all, but he left you for thinking about someone else. What kind of person does that?"

"No," Roxas corrected, "He left me for kissing someone else."

Axel sighed, "Potato, Potahto. Come on, you have to admit, his standards are pretty high. He was asking too much of you."

"How is asking me not to cheat on him, asking too much?"

"But you didn't cheat."

"I..." Roxas huffed. He wanted to dispute that, but deep down, he really felt like he hadn't cheated either. It had just been a kiss. Sure it was a hot, steamy kiss, but a kiss non-the-less. He hadn't professed his love for his best friend or anything. He'd made it clear to Axel that Zexion was his boyfriend and that they were only going to kiss in order to satisfy each other's curiosity. And he had even made that blatantly clear in his retelling to his boyfriend. But Zexion... Zexion had still left him. He hadn't even given Roxas a second chance. Just cut him loose.

Axel waved a hand in front of Roxas's face, "Hello. Earth to Roxas."

Roxas snapped out of his thoughts and looked over at his friend. He really did love Axel. And if he was totally honest with himself, it was as more than a friend. His heart really did do back flips when he saw the redhead. He had told himself forever that it hadn't been true, but it was. "I didn't want to be gay."

Axel scrunched up his face, genuinely confused, "What?"

"I... I think I do like you Axel. No, I know I do. I have for a long time. But I didn't want to think about what that meant. So I just told myself that that's how friends feel about each other. Then Zexion and I got to know each other. He confessed his feelings to me and kissed me, and that's when I realized that being gay wasn't that bad. But there was nothing I could do for you and me anymore. Zexion had beaten both of us to the punch, and I couldn't just say, 'Oh hey, thanks for dragging me out of the closet, but I don't want to be with you, I want my best friend." And, it's not like I didn't have a crush on Zexy too. I really do love him. But now with all that's happened, I'm starting to think I don't love him the way I thought I did. I think... I think I just want to be his friend. And now I feel really fuckin' low, 'cause I feel like I just strung him along. And you too. I should have just told you the truth. Then maybe none of this drama would have ever happened. You'd be my boyfriend, Zexion would be my best friend. Everything wouldn't be so complicated." Roxas let the last sentence die off as he sat still trying to sort through his feelings.

Axel was staring slack jawed at his friend, "Did you just say... I mean, are you telling me?"

"Yes Axel. You're right. I'm in love with you. There, you happy?" The blonde boy pouted.

Axel grinned from ear to ear and threw himself at Roxas, "Hell yes! You have no idea how flippin' happy I am!"

Roxas repressed a grin and freed himself from the taller male, "Hold on, hold on. We can't be together though. Not 'til I sort things out with Zexion. He's still my friend."

Axel sat back and gave Roxas a serious look, "Do I have to sing 'Girlfriend?'" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"What?" Roxas tried his hardest to keep a blank stare focused on his friend, but it wasn't working. Axel had actually sung 'Girlfriend' to him before and the memory was too funny not to smile at. Although, knowing how Axel felt now gave whole new meaning to his memory. Axel hadn't just been goofing around; he'd been trying to hint his feelings to Roxas. Oh wow. "No Axel, that won't be necessary." Roxas had stopped trying to fight the grin that was now plastered on his face.

"You sure? 'Cause I'll do it. You know I will."

Roxas chuckled and stood, "Yes, I know you will. But I don't have time to sit around and listen to bad Avril impressions."

Axel sighed and gave his friend a compassionate look, "Hey. I'm sorry you have to do this on your own. If I could talk to Zexion for you, I would."

"Thanks," Roxas knew Axel really meant that, "But it'll be ok. I'll just tell him the truth for once and hope it doesn't hurt him too badly. What else can I do?"

Axel smiled sympathetically, "Good luck."

Roxas nodded at the redhead, then opened the front door and stepped out into the sun. This was going to be one of the worst things he'd ever had to do, but he had to do it. For everyone involved, he had to tell the truth.


	6. Sweet Sorrow

A/N: This is the last chapter, but I do intend on doing an eplilogue... someday.

* * *

Zexion concluded that he didn't have enough money to pay for carpet repairs, and as such, he should probably stop pacing a rut in his floor. He'd been up all morning thinking about the last night's events. What Roxas had said. What he had said. And unfortunately, he was finding no quick solution. As much as he hated dragging his friends into his personal problems, he decided it was necessary to get a second opinion. He quickly dialed some numbers and waited for the line to pick up.

"Hello?" asked the voice on the other end.

"Hey, Demyx. It's Zexion."

"Oh! Hey! 'Sup?"

"Look, I… Is it ok if I talk with you about something?"

"Uh, sure. Shoot."

"No, I mean like, in person. Could you come over or is this a bad time?"

"Uh, yeah, I can come over. What's this all about?"

"It's Roxas," Zexion sighed.

"What? Is he ok?" the other boy sounded mildly worried.

"Probably not," he heard Demyx gasp quietly, "I mean, he's physically fine but… I threw him out last night. I… I left him."

There was a long pause, "Oh man. Hey, I'm sorry man. You ok?"

"I'm… well, I'm not fine, but… I just need to talk to someone."

"Yeah, yeah. Sure thing man, I'll be right over."

"Thanks Dem," Zexion let a half hearted smile grace his lips.

The two said their goodbyes and hung up. Zexion plopped down in an easy chair in his living room. With one hand balled in a loose fist over his mouth, and his other hand supporting his elbow, he sat in quiet contemplation.

No more than fifteen minutes had passed before there came a knock at the front door. Zexion rose from his chair and moved to answer his visitor.

"Zexy!" the tall blonde leaned in, giving the shorter boy a hug.

Zexion attempted a smile, but was too lost in thought to really convey any sort of greeting. "Hey Dem," he said apathetically.

The mulleted boy stepped inside and quickly made himself at home, propping his feet up on the small coffee table in Zexion's living room.

"Demyx," Zexion scolded, "Feet off the furniture."

Demyx sighed, but did as he was told, "You're always so uptight about your stuff. It's just stuff man. Relax."

Zexion tossed him a chastising look, "It may be just stuff, but it's my stuff, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't ruin it." He sat down on the couch near the taller boy.

Demyx rolled his eyes, "Ok, ok. Whatever. So, what'd you wanna talk about?"

Zexion sighed, "Well, like I said. I threw Roxas out last night."

"What for man? Like, what happened?"

The shorter male frowned, "He cheated on me."

"What?! Roxas? Are you sure?" Demyx was truly shocked.

"Yeah, I'm sure. He told me himself," Zexion was finding this harder to talk about then he'd expected.

"He told you? What exactly did he say?"

"He," Zexion paused, "Well, it's a whole long story."

"I've got time," Demyx offered.

"Ok… well, see, the other day his best friend, Axel."

"The tall redhead?"

"Yeah. Well, he finally told Roxas that he liked him."

"What?! Like in front of you?" Demyx was loving the gossip.

"Yeah, in front of me. And after… after he had kissed Roxas."

"What?!!"

Zexion flinched, "It was horrible. And so I was trying to convince Roxas that he needed to stop being friends with Axel, but instead, he decided to go talk things out with him."

"Uh-oh." the blonde chimed in.

"Exactly. Next thing I knew, he's over here, freakin' out, telling me how he and Axel made out, and it was all his idea, but it was a stupid idea and he didn't mean to, and well, I didn't want to here it. He tried to tell me it wasn't cheating, but he made out with Axel of his own free will. I think that qualifies as cheating. So, basically, I told him to get out."

The two were silent for some time before Demyx finally spoke up, "Wow man. That's rough."

Zexion nodded, "I've been thinking about it all morning. Trying to see it from his point of view. Trying to convince myself that it wasn't cheating and that I should take him back, but…"

Demyx thought, "Well… I mean, you could always consider it cheating, but give him a second chance."

The blue haired boy sighed, "I know. I thought about that too, but it just hurts me so much to think that he'd do this to me."

Demyx squirmed, "Uh, I know I'm suppose to be on your side and all, but you're sounding kind of selfish. I don't think he did this to you. I think he just did it. I mean, if he had done it to hurt you, why would he have come over here right after and confessed to everything? Honestly, it just sounds like he made a mistake is all."

Zexion pouted, "I know. I know it was a mistake. But I'm afraid he'll make it again. I don't want him running around behind my back all the time."

"Well, I guess… if you can't trust him to stay faithful, then maybe he's not the right one for you."

The shorter boy could feel his heart sink. He had come to this conclusion as well, but wanted desperately to find another answer, "I'm just so scared of letting him go," he admitted.

Demyx moved to sit next to his friend. He put an arm around the shorter boy's shoulders, "Hey. It'll be hard, but you'll always have your friends. I'll be here for you. And maybe you and Roxas can stay friends after all this. Then you won't really be losing him."

"What if he doesn't want to be friends?"

Demyx tightened his hold, "Well, then like I said. You'll always have me."

Zexion took a deep steadying breath and nodded his head, "Thanks Dem. I think I've finally got this all figured out."

"Hey, that's what I'm here for, right?"

Their conversation was ended there by a knock at the front door. Zexion looked to his friend worriedly; fairly certain of who was on his front porch. But Demyx just smiled sympathetically and motioned for him to answer it. Zexion took a deep breath and opened the front door, "Hey Roxas."

Roxas looked away nervously, "Hey Zexion. Can we talk?"

Demyx made his way pass both boys and out onto the porch, "I'll talk to you later Zex!" he waved as he headed down the front walk way.

Zexion waved a goodbye then turned back to Roxas, "Uh, yeah. I guess so." he stepped aside to let Roxas enter the house.

They stood in silence for a moment, then both tried to start in at the same time.

"Zexion wait. Let me say this first."

Zexion quieted.

"Zexion," he sighed heavily, "Zexy, I love you. I really do. But I don't think I love you the way you think I do. The way I thought I did. I love hanging out with you and being with you, but… I don't think I can love you as a boyfriend anymore. I've always had a crush on Axel, I just never wanted to admit it to myself. Then I met you, and my whole outlook on gay relationships changed. And I know this sounds like I'm just using you as a stepping stone to get to Axel, but that's not it at all. I loved our time together. I had lots of fun. And I did love you, truly. But now that I know that Axel feels the same way about me, I can't help but find myself wanting to be with him. I know I'm breaking your heart, and I am so, so sorry. I love you so much and I hate to see you hurt, but I have to tell you the truth, or it'll only be worse later on."

Zexion's heart really was breaking, "I… I know. I know you've always liked Axel. Even when you tried to hide it from yourself, it was obvious. I wanted to be with you so much; I love you so much, that I tried to pretend it wasn't real too. I just want you all to myself. But I know I'm just fooling myself. This is hard for me Roxy. You don't have any idea how hard, but… but I've decided to let you go. I won't stop you from being with Axel, if that's what you really want. I… if you'd still be my friend, I think I could live with that. I want you to be happy Roxy, but I also don't want to lose you completely. I need you in my life. You've become a part of my day to day. So, I'm willing to make this a clean break, no bitterness involved, if you'll just say we can still be friends."

Roxas smiled sadly at his now ex-boyfriend, "Zexy…" he embraced him in a loving hug, "of course I'll always be your friend. We've shared too much together to just part ways. Thank you for not hating me."

Zexion hugged the blonde back, "I could never hate you Roxas. Just don't ever break my heart again, ok?"

Roxas closed his eyes, "I'm so sorry Zexion. I never wanted to hurt you. I swear, this'll be the only time you'll ever have to feel like this. I'll make it up to you and things will only get better from here on."

"I'm gonna hold you to that," the blue haired boy teased.

Roxas pulled back and looked the shorter boy in the eyes, "Even though we're just friends, you'll always have a piece of my heart."

"I know. You too."

Roxas hesitated for a moment, then leaned in giving Zexion a soft, sweet kiss, "Thank you for all the memories Zexion."

"Thank you for loving me Roxas."

Roxas turned and headed out the door before Zexion could see tears rolling down his cheeks. It didn't really matter however, since the shorter boy's vision was already fuzzy with his own bitter sweet tears.


End file.
